God in Jesus is called “the friend of sinners” (Luke 7:34, Matthew 11:18-20). This is an extraordinary statement. The God who made the Universe wants to be our friend. He wants to befriend insecure, fearful, selfish, rebellious people like us! It is extraordinary but true. God shows us what real friendship is.

Sacrificial

God’s friendship is sacrificial. Jonathan strips off his robe of honour and gives it to David, the shepherd boy. He humbles himself. One could say that Jonathan, though he was born royal, did not consider royalty a thing to be grasped, but was happy to humble himself and to take the role of a servant. And this is what God has done. The God who roared, who could order armies and empires about like pawns on a chessboard emerged in Palestine as a baby; Jesus.

Jesus is a true and better Jonathan. Though Jesus was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (see Philippians 2:5-11).

Jesus willingly endured a brutal and barbaric death on a cross 2,000 years ago to pay the penalty we deserve for all the wrong things we have done and thought. He died to give all who believe in him forgiveness of sin, a clean conscience and eternal life. What an amazing friend he is! But his friendship is more than this.

Adversarial

In 1 John 2:1-2 the Bible says Jesus “speaks to the Father in our defence.”

You might want to turn to these verses (as we reflect on them).

An advocate is someone who has an official relationship with you so that whatever the advocate achieves, you achieve, and whatever the advocate loses, you lose. A lawyer stands in the client’s place. The client is not heard or regarded; the lawyer is. The client is effectively lost in their advocate.

Note what 1 John 2:1-2 does not say. It does not say that the advocate is Jesus Christ the merciful or Jesus Christ the persuasive. It says, “Jesus Christ the righteous one”. Jesus is the holy, perfect, sinless advocate. Furthermore, like all good lawyers, he doesn’t just play on the emotions of the court; he has a case. And what was Jesus’ case? An “atoning sacrifice for our sins” (verse 2).

This is absolutely startling and unparalleled in any other religion. Jesus is not just standing up there asking for forgiveness. He is not just up there asking for mercy. He is telling the Father what the law is! It is not that Jesus is having to persuade his Father (it would be unworthy to think of the Trinity in that way). No, the advocacy of Jesus was the Father’s idea (“God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ” 2 Corinthians 5:19).

Jesus Christ stands before the Father. Before the justice of God, in other words. And relentlessly and continually He says something like this: “Father, yes Howard did do it again but I have died the death he should have died and have lived the life he should have lived. I am his advocate. He is lost in me. When you look at him you have to see me. You see all that I have done and all that I am. Therefore it would be unjust for you to take two payments for this sin. I have already paid for it in full. I do not ask for mercy, therefore, I demand justice.” What an amazing friend he is!

Who does he do this for? Only for people who see themselves as a moral failure. Only people who see that they are not worthy to go in, that they need someone far more righteous than them to be their advocate.

Incites Courage

God is also an unrivalled encourager. After Jesus ascended to heaven he sent the Counsellor, the Holy Spirit to us (John 16:7). The Holy Spirit teaches us all things and remind us of all that God said (John 14:15-31). Romans 8:16 tells us that the Holy Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. The Holy Spirit reminds us of all that Jesus has and will accomplish for us – our identity and destiny in him. He teaches us that our security and our significance is in Christ when we experience spiritual attack. God, by his Holy Spirit, is a true and better Jonathan. A comforter and encourager par excellence who assures us – if we will listen to him – that what he has spoken will come to pass.

Summary

* God sacrifices for us. He advocates for us. And he encourages us. He exemplifies what true friendship is. But his friendship is more than a model for us to follow. His friendship empowers.

* In God you have a friend who will never reject you (he has promised to never leave or forsake you, Matthew 28). God continually pours out his love to you (1 John 3:1). He provides for you and protects you. He gives you eternal security. He gives you a glorious inheritance in the new heavens and earth that can never spoil or perish. He takes away your fears and gives you a living and certain hope.

* In short, God liberates us (from our fears, insecurities and selfishness) to be a real friend to others just as he has been to us.

* In our despair and hopelessness, Jesus left the safety of heaven and came to us, and took us into his haven of rest. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

* The whole plan of salvation is an act of friendship whereby God took on human likeness so that people might take on his likeness, transforming enemies into friends (Philippians 2:5-8, Hebrews 2:17; 1 John 3:2).

Do you know God as your friend in this way…? Is this the kind of friend you are both to sinners and your close friends…? Is it time you responded rightly to the friendship God has shown you and show yourself friendlier?

There was a hit man after David, and his name was Saul. David was out in the wilderness, and at any moment, behind any bush or rock or hill, Saul and his men might have been waiting to strike him down. This is a low point in David’s life. He is frightened, beleaguered, stumbling through the wilderness, outnumbered by Saul’s army 5:1, living in squalid and unpleasant conditions – discouragement had set in.

Sound familiar? Have you ever had a moment of doubt creep upon you (and stay for longer than you would like)? Ever questioned your call, your purpose in God? Ever felt disillusioned and thought about giving up?

During this low point, Jonathan manages to slip away unnoticed from Saul and his army to encourage his friend. He assures David that Saul will not harm him. He reminds David of his high calling. He exhorts him that it will come to pass. He pledges his support, creating a small sanctuary of trust within the jungle of unpredictability in David’s life.

When was the last time you took time out to encourage your friends?

The Bible says “a friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17) – not just when it is convenient! If Jonathan managed to secretly meet with David whilst being a senior leader in his father’s military campaign to capture his friend, surely we have no excuses not to meet together as our circumstances are a little less tricky to escape!

Even the strongest faith sometimes wavers, and the value of an encouraging word from an understanding friend at those times cannot be underestimated. Real friends strengthen each other. They exhort us to stand firm against the enemy. They encourage us to overcome our challenges. They incite us to hold fast to the task God has called us to. They pledge their commitment and support to each other.

Is this the kind of friend you are?

Or are you finding it hard to measure up to this standard of sacrificial, adversarial and encouraging friendship and answer yes to that question? Here’s a clue: you probably should be. If we’re honest, at some point, in some way we all fall short of this high standard.

How then can we be real friends? How do we get the security we need to be real friends? How do we overcome our fear of rejection or disappointment? How do we put aside our selfishness? Answer: in God.

Real friendship is made possible by God. See the concluding post.

Jonathan had much to gain by David’s death. With David out of the way there would be no question about his right to the throne. But as a loyal friend, Jonathan chose instead to speak well of David and to act as mediator to secure peace between Saul, his father, and David his friend (19:4).

Real friends are advocates before others. As a former court room lawyer, my job was to speak in defence of others. To be my client’s mouthpiece, to advocate their point of view, their cause, their case to the best of my abilities. That is what real friends do; they willingly speak in loyal defence of their friends. And they do so even at great personal risk or cost to themselves. How awful that a son should have to go behind his father’s back and show greater loyalty to David, his friend, than to his father. But that is the call of true friendship. In some circumstances we must risk much to speak up for our friends.

Real friends are not fair-weather friends. A British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following:

“One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable.”

“One who understands our silence.”

“A volume of sympathy bound in cloth.”

“A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.”

The winning definition read: “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”

The Bible says “A true friend sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Real friends understand those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. They speak well of their friends when everyone else turns their back. They speak up for their friend at work to their boss even if it could cost them their job. They speak well of their friend when others run them down or criticise them in their absence. Is this the kind of friend you are?

In the preceding chapter, David, in his infamous showdown with Goliath, shows us one form of heroism. Here, Jonathan shows us another.

Jonathan is the unsung hero of 1 Samuel. In giving David his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt Jonathan was effectively renouncing his claim to be king and recognising David as heir-apparent to the throne of Israel. More than that, Jonathan shows no pettiness, envy or jealousy (unlike his father). Jonathan was next in line to be king. He might have wanted the praise of the people (verses 5-7) yet here was this kid from the hills of Bethlehem, getting all of it. Nevertheless, unselfishness, not rivalry or competition prevails. Jonathan honours David above himself (Romans 12:10).

Oscar Wilde once said, “Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.”

How do you cope with a friend’s success? Do you wrestle with the green eyed monster or rejoice at their good fortune?

Jonathan does the latter. He does not fall victim to insecurity’s toxic power. Instead, he sacrifices himself to lift his friend up. That’s what real friends do.

Is that the kind of friend you are? Will you make sacrifices for others? Will you give up your time and give yourself to another?

Or does your career, your wealth, your position, your status, your reputation, mean too much to you? Are you too busy trying to make a name for yourself?

I heard a story once about a teenage boy who lost all of his hair after radiation treatments and chemotherapy. On the way home from the hospital he worried about going back to school with a bald head. When he came home several friends surprised him with a welcome-home party. But what surprised the young man the most was not the party but that all of his friends had shaved their heads! His friends had sacrificed their hair to make him feel loved and less embarrassed.

This is the kind of godly friendship we need to offer the world. Is this the kind of friend you are?

In contrast to this, they found that if you asked people why they became homeless, why their marriage failed or why they overeat, they often say it is because of the poor quality, or nonexistence of friendships. They feel outcast or unloved.

Could it be that many of the problems we grapple with in Western society exist because real friendship is broken? Here in London, we live in a city with a population of more than 7 million people and yet so many of us feel lonely. Many people, even Christians, say that they do not have any real friends. There are many possible reasons for this.

In today’s world where we are Facebooked, Twittered and emailed up to our eyebrows, friendship has become somewhat superficial. We write a status update instead of sending an email. We send an email instead of making a call. We make a call instead of paying a visit. We tend to settle for weak ties with numerous people rather than deep, soul-satisfying connection with real friends.

For many, friendship has become self-centred. People conduct ‘me-friendships’ where a friend must fulfil their needs and desires. Others avoid friendship because they fear rejection. They’re afraid that if they allow someone to get to know them up close and personal they won’t like what they see. Some suffer from ‘FFS’ – fantasy friendship syndrome – and have an unrealistic view of friendship that no-one can live up to so they don’t bother to make real friends because they will only be disappointed. Worse still, there are those of us who steer clear of making friends with ‘needy’, ‘flawed’, or ‘awkward’ people because we don’t want the inconvenience of a burdensome relationship. And for many the pressures and busyness of life have caused friendship to drop too far down our lists of priorities.

There is an urgent need, therefore, to recover Biblical friendship, to overcome these trends to become the authentic community of real friends God has called us to be.

But to do this we need to change. And some of us need to change more than others. Like it or lump it the Bible’s answer is that we should show ourselves friendly (Proverbs 18:24). If you are struggling with loneliness or long for deeper, more meaningful friendships the Bible puts the responsibility on you, not others, to be friendly.

I think there is no better way to recover a vision for friendship the way God intended it than by looking at one of the greatest friendships in the Bible. David and Jonathan provide an outstanding model of what real friendship is all about.

More in the next posts.

Colin Barrow CBE

Our Foodbank is hosted in our church building, and is staffed entirely by volunteers from our membership base.

The Launch

Speaking at the launch, Councillor Colin Barrow, Leader of Westminster City Council, said, “It’s great to see our community pulling together as one to make a real difference to the lives of struggling families. We are constantly working to give Westminster residents that extra helping hand, and we know, with the winter months approaching, this Foodbank will play a pivotal role in providing for those most at risk.”

John Glen MP

John Glen MP, Member of Parliament for Salisbury, where the Trussell Trust was founded said, “I have huge

admiration for the work of the Trussell Trust, and I’m delighted to see this newest Foodbank opening in Westminster. This new service will be invaluable in helping people through some extremely difficult times, and I encourage local people to donate food generously to the Foodbank as others are doing across the country.”

Why do we need a Foodbank, and how do they work?

Greg Haslam speaks at the launch

Clients are referred to Foodbanks for a variety of reasons including redundancy, benefit delay, low income, ill health, domestic abuse, benefit reductions and debt. Food bags contain three days of nutritionally balanced, non-perishable foods such as tinned fruit, vegetables, meat and fish as well as pasta, cereal,UHT milk, sauces, tea, long-life juice.

Foodbank clients can receive a maximum of three Foodbank vouchers in a row (each voucher can be redeemed for at least three days food). Clients can receive up to nine vouchers per year, although longer term support is available in exceptional circumstances.

Where do we get the food from?

The Foodbank store cupboards sit in specially-converted rooms in the church, and over the past two months, volunteers, members of the public and local schools have helped to fill these rooms with enough food to officially open the Foodbank.

Greg Haslam, Colin Barrow and John Glen MP in the Foodbank storeroom.

On October 1^st, a team of volunteers spent a day collecting outside Sainsbury’s Market in Pimlico, receiving over 628 kilograms of food from members of the public! Thank you to all who gave so generously – look out for us next time you do your Saturday grocery shop!

Sainsbury’s Store Manager, Justin Sheppard said, “Sainsbury’s is delighted to be partnering with the Westminster Foodbank. We’ve been thrilled with the generosity of our shoppers and their willingness to get involved. We think the Foodbank is a fantastic initiative, and one which we will continue to support as part of our commitment to making a positive difference to our community.”

Donations have also been received from: Buckaroochies Parent & Toddler Group, St Vincent’s Primary School, Burdett-Coutts Primary School, Methodist Central Hall, All Souls Clubhouse, as well as Westminster Chapel members.

Thank you

Thanks to all who have made the Foodbank happen! Particularly Clare Gardner, our Foodbank Manager, who has given up many hours to bring this idea to completion; Andy Coleman, our Intern, who has donated a whole year to work as a volunteer for this project (among others); and Luke Boardman, the mastermind behind our supermarket collections. We are so excited about how God is going to use this initiative to impact our community with His love and goodness.

In the run-up to this, Greg appeared on BBC London’s breakfast news show to talk about the launch. You can listen to his radio interview via this link. (He is on at 2 hours 37 mins.)

Greg also appeared on Premier Christian Radio news bulletins throughout the day, and a story on our opening appeared in the Guardian’s Society Daily column (right at the bottom!).

We’re excited about the attention this new project is getting, and hopeful that it will make a real impact on our community!

This blog will be updated tomorrow morning with photos and comments from the launch.